Unworthy
by xx-animeXalchemist-xx
Summary: One-shot, turned two-shot. Phoenix's feelings after being disbarred. Hitting an all time low, he loses the will to hold on to his old self... Rated T for safety. Contains SOME shounen-ai and spoilers for T&T and AJ
1. Unworthy

**So I'm experimenting with my writing. For those of you that have read my stuff before (Thank you~!) you will know that I am a romantic comedy writer. I'm just good at coming up with random, funny stuff I guess... But my good friend L read some of my stuff and asked if I'd ever thought about writing a more serious fic. I had considered it, but thought I would just crash and burn. HOWEVER! I will never improve my writing if I can only succeed in one genre, and so although I've kept the romance, this is a hurt/comfort fic. Please let me know what you think of it, I really am out of my comfort zone here...  
Disclaimer: Only the story belongs to me, everything else belongs to Capcom.**  
**Contains shounen-ai, but seriously there is NOTHING explicit. Also contains spoilers for Apollo Justice.**

**_Summary: One-shot, possibly a two-shot. Phoenix's feelings after being disbarred. Hitting an all time low, he loses the will to hold on to his old self._**

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Chapter One- Unworthy

_"And so, for presenting illegal evidence in a court of law, Phoenix Wright is officially disbarred and is no longer allowed to practice law..."_

It was at that precise moment, that Phoenix Wright felt his world shatter into a million pieces. Surely this wasn't justice: he hadn't known about the evidence...

However none of that mattered. Appealing to the best of his abilities was futile; he was out. He had failed. He had let himself down. He had let Maya down, Pearl down... He had even let Mia down. He was glad that his Fey assistants hadn't summoned her recently, he couldn't face the shame. It was a good thing that they were both back at Kurain, he never wanted to see anyone again. He wanted to hide in his apartment, cowering from the outside world until he would eventually waste away.

Phoenix often woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, remembering the time he lost it all. Tonight was one of those nights. Looking back over the past three years, Phoenix couldn't help a hot tear from sliding down his cheek.

It had been exactly one month since his disbarment, and he had changed drastically. The well loved blue suit that had become his trademark was shoved at the back of the wardrobe, crumpled up out of sight. The ex-defence attorney had originally planned to throw it away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was as if he was hoping, waiting for his punishment to be revoked, or he thought he was stuck in a nightmare. And so he held just the tiniest bit of optimism that he would once again be in the courts in his blue suit, hair spiked to perfection and doing what he loved. But as the days passed, and then the weeks, finally reaching the first month, Phoenix knew it was impossible.

Covering the now limp spikes (reflecting his personality perfectly) he now had a blue, knitted hat. The suit had been replaced by a baggy, grey jumper and scruffy jeans (old clothes found scrunched up in the current place of his suit). He had worn these clothes for... well he wasn't sure how many days straight. He hadn't had a shower in ages and the last time he ate properly eluded his mind. Yes, the great Phoenix Wright had been broken. His only comfort: Drink.

And so, wiping his brow and climbing clumsily out of his bed, Phoenix headed towards the kitchen in his apartment, aiming for the fridge that contained nothing but alcohol now.

Grabbing as many bottles and cans as he could, the dark haired man shuffled over to the sofa where he let himself collapse after placing the alcohol on the coffee table in front of it. He started on the beer, attempting to drown his sorrows but failing miserably. The drink made Wright's mind go all blurry, mixing all the m6emories of his 'glory days' up together. He never forgot, no matter how much he drank.

Despite going into the biggest depression ever, Phoenix knew that he should at least _attempt _to get his life back and find a new job. But he couldn't. It wasn't that he was lazy or anything, he physically _couldn't _do anything about the way things were now. The pain he felt was bad enough, he was sure that he would tear in two if he tried to motivate himself. He was barely hanging on, just falling... falling...

After a good hour of drinking, all the cans were drained. This is when, at 3 a.m, the bottles started to be emptied. They were cheap bottles of alcohol, and after clearing two of them at an impressive speed, Phoenix started on an inexpensive bottle of red wine. Drinking straight from the bottle, finding common things like glasses to be useless now, the raven haired man felt a wave of dizziness sweep over him (thanks to his excessive intake of alcohol) and spilt the majority of the red liquid all over him.

He made absolutely no move to clean the mess, instead sitting there, soaking wet, and letting the tears flow.

_What a mess... Imagine what people would think if they saw me now. I am no longer worthy to be around other people. I'm a disgrace._

Phoenix peered at his stained jumper, making out the dark shade of magenta it had turned thanks to the dim light emanating from the kitchen. This shade reminded him of something... no, someone... Someone who this wretch of a man had tried to forget about, pretend that they didn't exist because they would probably die right there and then if they thought about the reaction he would receive.

_Miles..._

More tears streamed as he remembered their time together. The classroom trial, clashing in court, becoming closer...

Then there was their first kiss. It was shy, uncertain, and full of an emotion that was waiting to be awakened. It felt good, no... it felt great, wonderful, amazing. Miles slowly opened up to his childhood friend, trusting him with _everything._ As the relationship grew, so did the ex-defence attorney's confidence. After spending the night together, when Miles was sleeping soundly, snuggled up to the others chest, Phoenix made a vow to himself.

His lover's life had been full of hardships: losing his father so young, then being expected to be constantly perfect, finding out that his mentor was actually his father's murderer... Wrapping his arms more tightly around Miles, Phoenix made a silent promise to never let the silver haired one down. To always be there, grow as a defence attorney and be a man worthy to stand at the prosecutors side. He was that man, Miles loved him, and he loved Miles.

But this would surely change everything. Edgeworth was abroad again and Phoenix hadn't contacted him with the news of his disbarment.  
As the drink finally got to him and Phoenix was slowly drifting in and out of consciousness, the last thought to cross his mind was:

_Miles... I'm sorry. I guess I could never be someone worthy of your love.  
You'll be disgusted when you see the wreck I've become. I don't blame you; I hate me too.  
I'm... unworthy of your love...  
Unworthy..._

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**...How was it? This _seriously _is completely new to me, but I don't think it turned out too bad. Reviews are welcome! Constructive criticism also cuz I'm fairly sure I need it! Leaving it where I did is dramatic I guess, but I feel really sad for Phoenix so let me know if I should add a final chapter where things could start to look up a bit. If not, then I'll keep it a one-shot.**  
**Please review and give me your comments on a possible final chapter.  
Thank you so much!**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	2. Redemption

**I couldn't leave Phoenix depressed, it went against every fibre of my being. So I had to add this chapter to make things a little more positive, plus you guys seemed to want another chapter.  
Contains: Shounen-ai, T&T and AJ spoilers  
Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from the story, so please don't steal it from me!**

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Chapter Two- Redemption

_"You're not leaving again..."_

_"I have to Wright, I am studying foreign judicial systems after all."_

_"B-but why? Why can't you just stay here?"_

_"...I have to find myself..."_

_"You have found yourself! A couple of years ago, you wouldn't have dared take the place of a defence attorney. You've changed Edgeworth! I know you have, so please... don't leave again..."_

_"Wright. Why are you so determined to make me stay? My place isn't here anymore-"_

_"But it is! It's always been here! Please, I don't want you to go away again..." Phoenix stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the prosecutor. Edgeworth didn't respond, although he didn't pull away either._

_"Please..." Phoenix whispered by the others ear, "Stay here with me. I want you to be with me, Miles..."_

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_

Phoenix slowly opened his eyes. His vision was severely cloudy, due to the mix of sleep and tears that were present. He tried to sit up but was quickly knocked back down as an extreme pain pulsed through his head. The ex-defence attorney let out a small, pained gasp as he held his throbbing head. He had really drunk a lot last night.

Shifting his eyes slightly to the right so that the coffee table was now within his vision, Phoenix couldn't believe how much alcohol he had actually cleared. No wonder his head hurt so much. However, despite the extreme alcohol intake, his dream had been vividly clear. It was back when Phoenix had just cleared Iris's name. Miles had flown over straight away upon hearing that his friend had been hospitalized. One thing lead to another and suddenly the prosecutor was acting as a defence attorney.

Once it was all over, Phoenix had payed a visit to Edgeworth's office. He had wanted to thank him for all of his help with the case, but when he got there he saw Miles gathering up anything that looked relevant and wearing a big blue coat. Scanning the area, the dark haired man noticed a few suitcases in the corner and he quickly figured out what was going on.

_"You're not leaving again..."_

The answer was obvious. Edgeworth was planning to go back to whichever country he was currently studying the judicial system of and hadn't bothered telling anyone.  
The prosecutor had never been the best with goodbye's and so he had hoped to be gone before someone had the chance to notice. Sadly, his idea did not work out according to plan as his old friend had caught him trying to escape.

He never did end up leaving though. Somehow, Phoenix had ended up hugging him. Somehow, Phoenix had asked Edgeworth to stay with him. Somehow, Edgeworth didn't find himself pushing the other away. For whatever reason, he felt safe in those arms. And he knew that there was no possible way he could ever leave the country for an extended amount of time upon hearing three simple words escape Wright's lips:

_"I love you."_

Every time Phoenix thought about what they had, he got depressed. There was no possible way that they could be like that again. All because he had to go and break the law. What on earth would Edgeworth see in the drunken hobo that had replaced his lover? Nothing. And so, still lying on the sofa, Phoenix scanned all bottles and cans, desperately searching for one that he could have missed. He still had a hangover but he didn't care. What did he have to live for anyway? He might as well just end it for all he had left.

To his dismay, the raven haired one found that there was no alcohol left.  
And then, a frantic banging sounded. This did absolutely nothing to help his throbbing head and Phoenix had no idea where the sound was coming from. However, it soon ceased and he heard the lock to his front door being turned and his front door being opened.

The door was practically slammed shut once the mystery person had entered the apartment, and quick footsteps sounded upon the floor. Any normal person would have been terrified, but not Phoenix. He figured that he didn't have anything valuable and so a robber would be no threat. He also figured that if it was a murderer, then they would be a saint for putting him out of his misery.

But it wasn't any sort of criminal at all. The footsteps stopped when they got to the living room and walked over to the sofa cautiously. Phoenix shut his eyes, anticipating some sort of blow to the head. He couldn't have escaped even if he had wanted to, his hangover was keeping him firmly in place. But no sort of murder weapon came near him. Only a deeply concerned voice called his name.

"Phoenix?" Came the worried voice and Phoenix wished that there really was a murderer in his apartment. He couldn't bear what was surely about to unfold, he couldn't believe that _he_ was actually here.

"Miles..." Phoenix whispered hoarsely. He hadn't used his voice in a while apart from letting out a few muffled sobs the previous night.

"Oh my god!" Edgeworth quickly made his way around to the front of the sofa and took a look at the state his lover was in.  
"What on earth-"

"-Don't start. All you need to know is that I have been disbarred. That's all there is to it. Goodbye." The dark haired man made an extreme effort to turn so that his back was to Edgeworth, but said person prevented this by grabbing his arm.

"You look and smell terrible." Miles stated simply. He looked at all the empty alcohol containers and he raised an eyebrow.

"I am well aware of your being disbarred although I would have liked to get Phoenix's side of the story, but unfortunately it looks like I can't find him."

Phoenix looked at the other, thoroughly confused.  
"I'm right here," he said, perplexed.

"Who's right here?" asked Edgeworth.

_What the hell is he talking about? Phoenix Wright is here!_

"Phoenix Wright," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry, but I know Phoenix Wright and you are definitely _not _him."

"You know it's me Miles!" Phoenix raised his voice a little.

"Do I? Look at yourself. You look like a bloody hobo and you've clearly got a hangover! Just how much did you drink last night? You look awful, you smell awful and you are _not _Phoenix Wright."

Getting fed up and annoyed, Phoenix raised his voice a little more as he asked, "Well if I'm not Phoenix Wright, then who am I, and who is he?"

"_You _are worthless. A complete waste of space and totally pathetic."

_Ouch... But I guess he's right..._

"Phoenix Wright on the other hand," Miles began, "Is amazing. He is a strong, dependable man that will get the job done. His tactics in court are... interesting to say the least. Phoenix is a reliable friend and he just so happens to be the one I love so I would appreciate it if you would give him back to me."

Miles looked Phoenix in the eye, waiting for a reply.

"It's over Miles... I lost my badge so-"

"So what? You're just going to give up? You are sadly mistaken if you think I will leave things like this! You can no longer practice law, but surely you could do something else with your life. It's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get yourself out of this mess. You've never backed down when the odds were against you before, so why start now?"

"Miles, I've lost everything. I'm unworthy of your love..."

"Aren't I the one who should decide that? Phoenix, I love _you._ Not some metal badge that you used to have. I refuse to let you give up, so please stay here with me. I want you to be with me, Phoenix..."

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--1 month later--

"You officially suck at the piano Phoenix. Why did they even hire you?"

"Aw, that's not very nice Miles!" Phoenix pouted, pretending to be hurt.

The two were sat on the sofa in Phoenix's (now clean) apartment. Miles had insisted that he hear the other play the piano and wasn't exactly impressed.

"I just don't understand, it was completely... abominable!"

"Are you trying to make me cry?" Asked Phoenix, scooting closer to the prosecutor and placing an arm around him. Miles leant against Phoenix, laughing slightly.

"I still don't get it..." Muttered the silver haired man.

"It's because Daddy's super good at poker! They don't really want him to play the piano, Mummy!" Came a small voice from behind them.

A little girl clad in red pajamas and a red top hat skipped in front of them.

"Trucy? What are you still doing up?" Questioned Phoenix.

Edgeworth didn't say anything, horrified that he had been called "Mummy" yet again. Wright's new adoptive daughter seemed to live in her own little world and happily replied, "I was waiting for you two to get back. Daddy, why didn't you tell Mummy about your _real _job?"

"W-Well," Phoenix scratched the back of his head and grinned sheepishly, "You see-"

"What 'real job?'" Miles narrowed his eyes. Wright didn't look like he would divulge any information so he turned to Trucy instead.

"Trucy, can you tell Mummy what Daddy's real job is?" Edgeworth cringed when he said this, but Trucy was more likely to respond to him this way. Phoenix chuckled, clearly amused.

"Sure thing Mummy! Daddy is _really _good at poker and so the club hire him to play matches. The piano thing is a secret cover," grinned the little girl.

Miles's eyes widened. "Wh-what?" He turned to face the accused, who didn't deny it.

"Phoenix! That's illegal!"

"No it isn't. We don't play for money, they just play to beat me. Or try to beat me anyway."

"No wonder they let you dress like a slob at work then! Which reminds me... WHY THE HECK DO YOU STILL LOOK LIKE A HOBO?"

"These clothes are comfy," Phoenix shrugged, "And they don't look _that _bad. I know you don't really mind them." As he said this, the new poker-pro leaned in a gave Edgeworth a quick kiss on the lips, causing the latter to blush and Trucy to start chanting, "Mummy and Daddy are KISSING!"

Phoenix laughed heartily before beckoning Trucy to come and sit with them.

Life was good. He was with the man he loved and his new daughter. They were like a family already. Phoenix was grateful that he really didn't give up everything. He was grateful to Miles for saving him. He didn't know what he'd do without him.  
Edgeworth had made it abundantly clear that he didn't care about the disbarment, that he loved Phoenix for who he was. That he always has been, and always will be, completely worthy of his love.

THE END

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**I gave it a happy ending! Didn't exactly look like it was heading that way though... I hope that this was ok in the end. Like I've said before: this is NOT my genre! XP  
Your thoughts, comments, criticism and REVIEWS are cherished very very much!  
Thank you! ^_^**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx  
**


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